I’ve been going crazy lately, and everything puts me under a black wave. today I realized that I no longer want to be where I am now, both physically and spiritually, and emotionally.

today I realized that it is not in vain that I feel like a traitor because wherever I appear, the speech falls silent and an uncomfortable silence begins. this insulation tore me off the roof, and I realized I could easily find myself in the office, and I lacked the strength and desire to fix and change something. we return to the situation and perception of 2013 again …..

I am the only one who causes “waves” and discomfort because, in reality, I want to end up in an institution ….. I want my isolation to end somehow even though I have to deal with it myself and need to review myself and my life again.

I know what I know I’m an uninhabitable and sudden outburst of emotion, I don’t want anything but to go back to my “cave” and start all over again …… I know I’m walking through a glass pit which maybe to myself I dug up. I am uninhabitable, I confess, it is true and everyone and everything, and most of all me, suffers from it.

everything disappears under that black wave or pit from which I am trying to get out, or maybe I am not trying but just, I gave in to emotions and I want to be in that pit again ….. although, no one will spare me and I will not be able to choose ….