my world has not stopped burning for almost four months, I am tired of doing something to create and suffer. sometimes it seems to never end, and I will not stop burning and sighing headlong, against my beliefs and values of life.
maybe things will end soon and I will be able to recover and regain my strength again, maybe soon I will not be an anchor and a problem …. maybe someday I will prove that I am more normal than when I am in a burning world ……
everything stopped and lost its meaning, I want to cry and destroy my four-seater “world”, where I have been stuck for almost a year …. creativity and sites have stopped, everything has hit the wall of meaninglessness, where I seemed to be stuck myself ….
I cry again and repeat as my thoughts and feelings have sharpened. I started to feel and feel surrendered again, even though I realize that things should someday (somehow) end.