two days

I have two days left until my birthday, but I feel like I’m diving into blackness again …..
everything seems so far away and unreal when I can’t see my friends ’eyes in the eye
this whole story makes me worry and feel nothing and nothing like ….. everything I do, mistake after mistake and attempts to survive blackness plunges me further.

i know they take care of me and take responsibility, but i am also human and if all was well with me i would not be at home.

there are two days left before my holiday, I do not want to be sad but to enjoy is not anything ….

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  1. Hi,

    I don’t know you, but my brithday is exactly in one month after yours. And I don’t like birthdays, perhaps because I am already not very young and didn’t achieve everything I wanted.

    But at some point I realized that’s not bad to be imperfect. Perfect people are not interesting and I wouldn’t trust them. And I know there are things in this life which I love. Jazz and Progrock, alcohol and tobacco (yeah, I am a chain smoker), intolerable behavior of my son and difficult temper of my darling – I would be very bored without all that stuff.

    And what about this quarantine. Of course I am loosing my patience too. But sometimes i think how my grandparents survived in wars, hunger, very hard work etc etc etc. Of course our todays situation is not normal. But it’s just a temporary discmofort in comparison to great shoks in the past. And it will end soon, I bet 🙂

    Take care! I’ll drink for your birthday in two days! 😉


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