today I feel empty and don’t understand what’s going on with me. I know my plan is good and realistic but how much it will cost me effort and patience.
I know I have to leave everything here, all the comfort, respect, and discounts you make me here.
diving into the unknown will be difficult, but necessary because here I feel like I am losing more than I discover. it will be hard to lose friends and normal life, it will be hard to lose my life friend …. but apparently, I’m ready for that.

I think a lot about zarasai vs veisiejai, but the more I think about it the less willing I am to move towards the goal. of course, ignorance scares me, but whether the goal is worthy of that fear of living on the border between blackness and reality I will come out healthy …