today I realized that my current life is further than far and that those who can help me have disappointed me. maybe it’s my own fault, but I’ve been feeling like I don’t belong in this space for a long time.

I know it’s just running away from myself, but maybe, small maybe, I’ll find my space and meaning… but now it’s still far than further…

I feel sleepy and drowning in blackness, I feel like the whole world is against me, and strange sounds, millions of them keep driving me to despair and anxiety….
am I here or there