be when everything that interested or entertained you bounced back into the existential wall where you have to decide – you or they … when you live with people who cause you problems, you are looking for answers sometimes through the blackness, sometimes through barns …..
I have had to apologize lately to many people who have tried to show me their kindness, and I have not been able to see and understand it through my illness.
maybe the disease is not to blame here, but when it “burns” you’re looking for something that will put you out at all costs … and then everything doesn’t matter
to be or exist
I feel like, in a few of these months, I lost more than I discovered … I exist in an endless spiral of disease and there is no way I can get out of it … and then my blackness overwhelms and doesn’t let go and the loop strangles me to infinity …