long-forgotten days (waiting for a change)

someone wants to stop me from healing and recovery. something reminds me again and again of how unpredictable and stupid I am.
stupid that I try to live my life no matter where it takes me.
I try to discover my way of life and not listen to the opinions and chatter of others.
strange music and blacks again somewhere nearby, conflict after conflict, word afterword and I somewhere …. somewhere I shouldn’t be, somewhere where I’m not myself. and by the way, sugar won’t help here anymore