I am grateful

although I have lost the road dust on my shoes, I am grateful to be able to wait for the rain without getting wet.
however, I am grateful to be mentally stable now (sometimes) and can calmly wait to see what happens next.
I am thankful for the fate that he brought me to Veisiejai where I found my support, the church, the roommates, and everything I lost while wandering.
I am thankful that I am not in a stressful situation where a drinking father has taken me crazy.
I am grateful for the people who test the strength of my character who show me how vulnerable and restless I am at times. so that I can correct my mistakes and learn to survive my personal hells.
I am grateful for the psychologist and psychiatrist, for the medical staff in the boarding house, for the social workers, and for their assistants.
I am grateful for the distant friends who support me and (sometimes) try to understand me. grateful for the sister who left me the only person I still communicate with, even though the rest of the family left me and forgot.

I am grateful for the mother who (I think) undeservedly punished me but now I am in a better situation than they are …. grateful for this mysterious social worker who brought me here.
I am grateful for the lockdown that brought me new feelings, experiences, and creative inspirations …..

now I understand that what my “losses” are is my salvation and salvation because now I don’t know how or what would have happened to me …..

and I am grateful for the wickedness, all I have seen as my abusers …..
thank you