tin ice, prison and high hopes

I feel like in prison, though perhaps, I had high hopes that I would finally be able to move from the point of death. I don’t know why but more and more I go crazy that everything is unclear neither how nor then. Although there is freedom now, that freedom would cost two weeks of isolation and two tests for the virus.

Sometimes it seems to me that I will not hold back and run away from the boarding house, although I have promised some that I will not do so and cause problems …..
I called a lot of my faithful friends and asked me to support me throughout the situation. I also called my psychologist and asked her to consult a doctor about medication. There is another solution, a solution possible but I don’t want to think about it. That decision is a hospital.
I try to convince myself that it won’t be long, I try, but the more I try, the more it doesn’t come out. I feel like a bug that can’t be fixed.
Although I know I have to find a way out and not act stupid, but the ice is too thin, but I hope I find something that will help me break out and not break.


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