alive and kicking

I have no choice but to pay the price I deserve. although I reconciled with that woman, I don’t feel guilty as much as I should.
I know, I used too much force and could have gotten away, but two patients collided here and now I feel so bad that she caught me but didn’t defeat me.

what happened after that is my price although it is not a solution. running away is not a solution, but sometimes proof of concept that I can and don’t care.

it seems to me that I will still face a few months or half a year for violating the rules of the boarding house, but I don’t care what and how, it is much more critical for me to recover and rebuild.

maybe in a psychiatric hospital, perhaps life will change and I will overcome my nature, but it is unlikely to happen….. I will have to use the experience of other people, and about that next time