banhammer, virus & my life pt.2

banhammer hitting hard, so my life became harder….. it’s not complaining is more about the freedom that I can’t use. I lost track of the time that we are banhammered but something will change in my country, but not in my house where I […]

life over rooftop

sometimes I wondering why people can’t understand my mental condition. why they bring me closer and closer to darkness. sometimes they put me on the test, like yesterday with a nurse of night shift…… yesterday I make a call to helpline, because I feel […]

two days

I have two days left until my birthday, but I feel like I’m diving into blackness again ….. everything seems so far away and unreal when I can’t see my friends ’eyes in the eye this whole story makes me worry and feel nothing […]

celebrating life

I celebrate life no matter what it is, sometimes I seem to lose more and more, but everything is in my hands. I celebrate life with friends who surround me and help me recover from blackness I am still looking for myself, real and […]

I’m tired

I’m still isolated and don’t really know how to survive all this quarantine. I know that I am not one, many people are affected by depression and anxiety. I know it’s serious when people die …. the noise and the panic that engulfed the […]

why i feel lonely

sometimes I feel lonely even though I am surrounded by friends and people …. and it seems like it will never stop, cold faces will continue to surround me. through my illness, I have rejected many people and left behind. feeling strange, i want […]

don’t know (weird emotions)

lately i have been feeling weird and restless. the feeling that my illness is playing with me again. everything is fine with the neighbor and good enough with friends and the environment. but everything goes into blackness. but I sometimes feel worse sometimes better […]


a new day has dawned and I feel happy.finally sleepy and full of strength to do something good.I still feel the effects of the weekend and think a lot about the neighbor and all my reactions to it. not wanting to look back, I […]


today i’m looking forward to tomorrow …. i don’t know how to survive but maybe things will work out for good thinking about my psyche and the anxiety I have to endure. moving to a double room is an option, but I can’t imagine […]

anxiety and lost time

sometimes I feel like I’m freezing this time and the dream won’t end. sometimes it seems that everything that is and will be (or was) my past and future somewhere far away. I try to live my life but anxiety attacks me again and […]